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Posts by Flagg Eagleton - Patriot

About Flagg Eagleton - Patriot
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.
The View Settles With The Rittenhouses For $22 Million and a Formal Apology

The View Settles With The Rittenhouses For $22 Million and a Formal Apology

Posted by By Flagg Eagleton - Patriot Posted inWeird Hero Fetish Satire
Maybe they should have held out for more.
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Insiders Claim Bill Clinton Only Has Weeks to Live

Insiders Claim Bill Clinton Only Has Weeks to Live

Posted by By Flagg Eagleton - Patriot Posted inClinton Froyo with Sugar-Free Sprinkles
He's been looking rough for years.
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Biden Already Talking About Marshall Law if Roe is Overturned

Biden Already Talking About Marshall Law if Roe is Overturned

Posted by By Flagg Eagleton - Patriot Posted inBiden Satire with Sweet Thai Chili Sauce
He's claiming there will be women with guns in the streets.
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Trump On SCOTUS Decision: Promises Made, Promises Kept

Trump On SCOTUS Decision: Promises Made, Promises Kept

Posted by By Flagg Eagleton - Patriot Posted inSatirical Powers Of An Orange Imbecile
This is the time, patriots, that we are finally Making America Great Again!
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Twitter Removing Influential Conservatives Before Musk Takeover

Twitter Removing Influential Conservatives Before Musk Takeover

Posted by By Flagg Eagleton - Patriot Posted inTwittery Musky Satire
Liberals at Twitter have been banning influential conservatives ahead of Musk’s takeover, enraging patriots.
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Disney Set To Lose Billions From Education Contracts

Disney Set To Lose Billions From Education Contracts

Posted by By Flagg Eagleton - Patriot Posted inDisney Satire For Homophobic Taters
School districts all over America are cancelling contracts with Disney, costing them billions of dollars
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Conservative Actor and Activist Kevin Sorbo Reveals Terminal Illness

Conservative Actor and Activist Kevin Sorbo Reveals Terminal Illness

Posted by By Flagg Eagleton - Patriot Posted inSilly Tater Satire
He has less than a year.
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Democrats Worried Trump Win Means Removal Of Justice Jackson

Democrats Worried Trump Win Means Removal Of Justice Jackson

Posted by By Flagg Eagleton - Patriot Posted inSupreme Satire
Democrats know that when Trump takes the reigns back, Biden’s Supreme Court pick is gone.
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Goodbye, California: Elon Musk Is Moving X to Business-Friendly Texas

Goodbye, California: Elon Musk Is Moving X to Business-Friendly Texas

Posted by By Flagg Eagleton - Patriot Posted inTwittery Musky Satire
Everyone knows that California is an absolute cesspool full of illegal immigrants, dirty communists, unwashed homeless people, and Nancy Pelosi.
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White House Physician’s Notes Show Biden Suffers “Late-Stage Dimentia”

White House Physician’s Notes Show Biden Suffers “Late-Stage Dimentia”

Posted by By Flagg Eagleton - Patriot Posted inBiden Satire with Sweet Thai Chili Sauce
The administration is doing everything it can to control the damage.
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