Conservative activist and Hollywood icon Kevin Sorbo revealed that he’s suffering from a terminal illness. “I don’t completely understand it,” said the saddened actor, “but I’m going to regress similarly to Alzheimer’s or ALS.”
Sorbo’s oncologist, Dr, Joe Barron, says his disease isn’t typical or something a lot of people experience. “It’s a roll of the dice that the human brain will ultimately have to make,” said Dr. Barron, “But for most, it comes in the end stages, when the body tells itself to shut down. Kevin’s malignancy is something like that.”
Unlike ALS or Alzheimer’s, Sorbo won’t have to spend months or years watching either his body or his mind regress to the point it won’t function. Scientists working with Sorbo’s form of cancer, implacabilis culus, have no idea how or why, but those with late-stage implacabilis show no symptoms at all until they shut down, almost instantly.
For Sorbo, the clock is ticking. “Inside one year,” says the doctor, “he’ll be playing Hercules for Jesus.”
Sorbo, the ever-wonderful and mild-mannered gentleman, quietly laughed at the doctor’s seemingly inappropriate joke and simply said, “I’m looking forward to being by his side.”
What a great man. God bless you Kevin Sorbo.
A research team with Implacabilis Internation says Sorbo’s illness doesn’t have to be fatal, but the cure requires something called “caput ab asino,” a process unavailable to American conservatives.
