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Posts by Flagg Eagleton - Patriot

About Flagg Eagleton - Patriot

Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.

Garth Brooks Asked to Stay Away from Toby Keith’s Funeral: “Toby Wouldn’t have Wanted Him There”

Garth Brooks Asked to Stay Away from Toby Keith’s Funeral: “Toby Wouldn’t have Wanted Him There”

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By Flagg Eagleton - Patriot Posted inPunishing Garth Brooks

Toby was no fan of Garth Brooks.

Jack Nicholson Says Working with Robert DeNiro is “Like Chewing Shards of Glass”

Jack Nicholson Says Working with Robert DeNiro is “Like Chewing Shards of Glass”

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By Flagg Eagleton - Patriot Posted inPunishing Robert DeNiro15 Comments

There's a reason they haven't worked together since 1979.

Kathy Griffin’s Comedy Tour Canceled Indefinitely due to “Ridiculously Low Ticket Sales”

Kathy Griffin’s Comedy Tour Canceled Indefinitely due to “Ridiculously Low Ticket Sales”

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By Flagg Eagleton - Patriot Posted inPunishing Kathy Griffin

Nobody thinks you're funny, Kathy. Go home.

Colin Kaepernick is Unemployed, Broke, and Freeloading from Former Teammates

Colin Kaepernick is Unemployed, Broke, and Freeloading from Former Teammates

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By Flagg Eagleton - Patriot Posted inPunishing Colin Kaepernick10 Comments

How the mighty social justice warrior has fallen.

Shaq Turned Down a $100 Million Commercial with LeBron James: “All He Does is Whine and Cry”

Shaq Turned Down a $100 Million Commercial with LeBron James: “All He Does is Whine and Cry”

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By Flagg Eagleton - Patriot Posted inPunishing LeBron James

Shaq wants nothing to do with all that noise.

Oliver Anthony Refused a $100 Million Offer to Hold a Bud Light Can for Ten Minutes: “My Dignity Isn’t For Sale.”

Oliver Anthony Refused a $100 Million Offer to Hold a Bud Light Can for Ten Minutes: “My Dignity Isn’t For Sale.”

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By Flagg Eagleton - Patriot Posted inRewarding Oliver Anthony13 Comments

This guy continues to impress America.

Lia Thomas Booed Off Stage at Women’s Appreciation Rally: “You Don’t Belong Here”

Lia Thomas Booed Off Stage at Women’s Appreciation Rally: “You Don’t Belong Here”

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By Flagg Eagleton - Patriot Posted inPunishing Lia Thomas

She had a lot of nerve showing up at all.

Michael Jordan Refuses $100M for a 30-Second Super Bowl Spot With Lebron James: “Not On Your Life”

Michael Jordan Refuses $100M for a 30-Second Super Bowl Spot With Lebron James: “Not On Your Life”

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By Flagg Eagleton - Patriot Posted inYou Taters Hate Basketball

He won't sell his soul for any price.

Keanu Reeves Refuses to Present Whoopi Goldberg’s Lifetime Achievement Award: “She’s Not a Good Person”

Keanu Reeves Refuses to Present Whoopi Goldberg’s Lifetime Achievement Award: “She’s Not a Good Person”

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By Flagg Eagleton - Patriot Posted inPunishing Whoopi Goldberg2 Comments

He bowed out as soon as he heard who it was.

Mark Wahlberg Turned Down a $30 Million Role Opposite Tom Hanks: “I’ll Pray for His Soul But I Won’t Work With Him.”

Mark Wahlberg Turned Down a $30 Million Role Opposite Tom Hanks: “I’ll Pray for His Soul But I Won’t Work With Him.”

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By Flagg Eagleton - Patriot Posted inPunishing the View

Selleck was accused of being an "evil man" because he voted for Reagan.

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