Once a year, the Wapanoagowana Reservation hosts an event that draws in tens of thousands of women from around the world. On opening night, there’s a parade across the main stage that consists of that year’s most important women as they collect applause from the audience.

This year’s opening night, unfortunately, came with boos instead when transgender swimmer Lia Thomas hit the stage.

“The crowd wasn’t happy,” said event coordinator Joe Barron, “They didn’t particularly care for Lia’s inclusion in the evening’s festivities.”

“She’s a cheater, not a legend,” said Riley Gaines, “it was disgusting to see her up there.”

Gaines was there supporting several other NCAA legends and not to walk the stage herself, since 5th-place ties don’t really count for much. “I could have been a legend if there were no cheaters,” she screamed, “Cheaters are cheaty cheater McCheaterstons!”

Riley was eventually asked to leave after her outbursts and “Do you know who I am” demands became far more annoying than the silly story about people being mean to another human being because they need reasons to hate and ammunition for their culture war.

In the end, Thomas said she was happy the whole thing happened because now she knows to avoid fictitious events on Facebook troll pages. God Bless America.

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