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Posts by Flagg Eagleton - Patriot

About Flagg Eagleton - Patriot
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.
Trump Issues Executive Order Limiting Biden’s Term to Two Years

Trump Issues Executive Order Limiting Biden’s Term to Two Years

Posted by By Flagg Eagleton - Patriot Posted inElection 2020 Satire Don't Blame Us Zuck, Election Satire With Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Silly Tater Satire
Trump has taken the future of our great nation into his own hands.
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California to Ban Knives Over Five Inches

California to Ban Knives Over Five Inches

Posted by By Flagg Eagleton - Patriot Posted inCrime Satire For the Intellectually Impaired
As far as enforcement goes, all peace officers will be armed with tape measures and billy clubs.
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McDonald’s Will Offer A Colin Kaepernick Meal in 2021

McDonald’s Will Offer A Colin Kaepernick Meal in 2021

Posted by By Flagg Eagleton - Patriot Posted inKaepernick Satire For Hateful Taters
The fast food behemoth will start pushing out Colin Kaepernick inspired meals which will include his likeness and quotes from the ex-NFL’er.
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Confessions: Biden’s Priest Tells All

Confessions: Biden’s Priest Tells All

Posted by By Flagg Eagleton - Patriot Posted inBiden Satire For Delusional Trumpsters To Hate, Religious Satire With Bean Dip
He knew he would no longer be able to abide by his vows.
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All Major Networks — Including Fox — Refuse to Cover Trump’s Inauguration Day Rally

All Major Networks — Including Fox — Refuse to Cover Trump’s Inauguration Day Rally

Posted by By Flagg Eagleton - Patriot Posted inElection 2020 Satire Don't Blame Us Zuck, Satirical Powers Of An Orange Imbecile
The treasonous mainstream media has announced that they will not be covering the patriotic rally on Inauguration Day!
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Pelosi Invokes Article 11 To Freeze Presidential Pardons

Pelosi Invokes Article 11 To Freeze Presidential Pardons

Posted by By Flagg Eagleton - Patriot Posted inPelosi Breaks Balls Satire
It's a rare option to be invoked by the Speaker.
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Auditor Determines 7% of AZ Ballots Were in Spanish

Auditor Determines 7% of AZ Ballots Were in Spanish

Posted by By Flagg Eagleton - Patriot Posted inElection 2020 Satire Don't Blame Us Zuck
The find is, as of yet, unsubstantiated.
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Jill Biden to “Completely Re-Decorate” Oval Office

Jill Biden to “Completely Re-Decorate” Oval Office

Posted by By Flagg Eagleton - Patriot Posted inBiden Satire For Delusional Trumpsters To Hate
The new First Lady has some "classier" ideas.
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Biden Announces: “I Will Give ‘Hanoi Jane’ Fonda the Medal of Freedom”

Biden Announces: “I Will Give ‘Hanoi Jane’ Fonda the Medal of Freedom”

Posted by By Flagg Eagleton - Patriot Posted inBiden Satire For Delusional Trumpsters To Hate
What an honor for the traitor known as Hanoi Jane!
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Texas AG Ken Paxton Drops Supreme Court Case

Texas AG Ken Paxton Drops Supreme Court Case

Posted by By Flagg Eagleton - Patriot Posted inChristmas Satire For Sandy Claus
He says he had a "change of heart."
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