Leaked Whoopi Texts Could Lead to Criminal Charges

Whoopi Goldberg may have crossed legal lines when she sent text messages threatening to stab someone “in the neck,” She also threatened to kill somebody with a ballpoint pen. The complete story is here:

ABC’s Legal Department In A Panic Over Leaked Whoopi Goldberg Texts

Police in four cities are looking into the threats and whether or not Golberg should be charged with conspiracy. “Some of the evidence suggests she was willing to pay someone to go get her the ballpoint pen,” said Detective Joe Barron, “that might be enough to get the feds involved.”

Some of the messages are so unbelievably bad that we can’t even reproduce them here. Others are even worse, but we haven’t thought of them yet, so there’s no telling if they’re publishable or not. Basically, it’s just a race to 200 words at this point.

In other news, Roseanne Barr is rebounding her career, at least in fictional stories on Facebook, and her fans are loving it! “I haven’t seen the show yet,” said PamNHarry White, “We’re still trying to figure out how to stream. And is this right? It’s $5.99?”

PamNHarry decided to wait for the show to hit cable which will likely be…never.

Goldberg, on the other hand, might never do another show if she’s charged and convicted, and wouldn’t that be punishment enough?