During the holiday season, stores across the land take a moment to honor the heroes and concepts that built this festive time of year. Think of Chick-fil-a’s amazing “Tribute to Space Lasers and Bagels” Hannukah spectacular from 2019.
Let’s not forget “K Mart’s Communist Christmas” from last year, which is now a hobo toilet.
But it’s a different “woke” age now, and the good old things we all used to love and rub on ourselves are now subject to judging by politically correct liberals and their disgusting children. For example, the hubbub that’s now just beginning over retailer Macy’s new Christmas display window.
According to Joe Barron, who leads the organization “Let’s Cancel Corporate Christmas,” the featured public exhibit at Macy’s outlet store on 666 Queefgust Street in New York is part of the ongoing problem.
“It’s got a theme of ‘Ghostbusters’, which right away is not suitable for the holiday. They’ve made all the Ghostbusters white, including Winston Zedimore, and they’re all holding what appear to be mayonnaise blasters. All of them are standing on top of Wal-Mart cranberry juice boxes.”
Barron went on, clicking a small Mpeg player to provide musical accompaniment. Drake began to pour out.
“And what are these bastions of caucasia firing at? ‘Slimer’, who is made up to resemble Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, grinning mischevously and chewing on a ghostly cucumber sandwich. He even has a crown of thorns. Disgraceful is what it is.”
Meanwhile, Trump and DeSantis share a smoch under the mistletoe at Nordstrom.
Macy’s management said the display was produced by a third party, and has no pertinence to their corporate umbrella. The party, “PLT Inc” sent a release inviting critics to make sweet sweet love to themselves.
As of now, thousands of onlookers are holding signs and blocking access to the window. Press coverage seems lackadaisical, although the Fox News network has already sent Tucker Carlson to the scene for live interviews and ratings bragging rights.
One thing is definitely for sure. This season, the very last thing anyone should be “fraid” of is Jesus Christ. Yes, Raymond. I am a God.
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.
