Protests Cause Marvel To Cancel ‘White Panther’ Film

A huge activist uproar has reached the big round ears of the Mickey Mouse powerhouse company, and the message has been heard loud and clear: “Disney, stop the racist White Panther movie.”

The announcement came early today that Marvel Studios, under pressure from their parent company, will cease production of the film version starring their classic superhero.

Even though the Black Panther feature was well-received and a smash hit around the globe, some found the name and prospect of a “White Panther” character offensive to minority sensibilities.

Slated to be afforded a 77 million dollar budget, and starring Clay Aiken in his first lead role, the production has been shuttered and the corporation says it plans instead to focus work on its upcoming “Dr. Strange” sequel.

Marvel’s Head of Hating Todd McFarlaine, Sandy Batt, gave a short description of what will now never be.

“The White Panther is a heroic figure that Stan Lee came up with soon after the Black Panther’s debut.  Bradley Van Bluker is the elected king of a country called ‘Caucasia’, a rich hidden land near Denmark that excels at building yachts, boasts a wealth of mayonnaise factories, and has dozens of fruit-infused carbonated water lakes.

He is granted the sacred power of the land by the priceless Vanilla Wypipo diamond, and must represent his nation while battling his nemesis, Doctor Dandruff.  It was pretty hard to find an all-white cast, but it’s moot now, I guess.

We’ll have to let Mel Gibson down easy.  He was playing Chief Nickleback of the Volvo Tribe.”

Disney has already been forced to suffer a series of setbacks due to the Trump plague pandemic, including changing release dates for its Black Widow (that’s fine) solo feature.

Perhaps the beloved alabaster champion of the privileged will just need to have his triumphant adventure at a safer date.