A new report from Wall Street says Disney’s “huge gains” and record park attendance are nothing but fraudulent lies to dupe shareholders into keeping their stocks. “Without the lie, the stocks would be worthless.” The report shows that Disney’s profits were down, not up, and that more than 9 million people left its streaming service, a claim they once denied.
“Now that we have this information we can tell our clients how best to proceed,” said Eric Cantor’s nephew, Bill. “Once they know Disney is built on paper alone, they’ll all abandon ship. Bill’s assistant reminded him that Disney owns billions of dollars worth of developed resort real estate and it wouldn’t really matter if they stopped making money from it, as we all saw in 2020.
Unfortunately, she’s wrong. The report clearly states that Disney is bad and does bad things and is in financially bad shape. It lists 54 different violations of good things and 109 instances of un-Americanism. One entire page in the report is dedicated to characters in costume groping 18-21-year-old girls. They’re just babies for Christ’s sake!
Disney answered our request for comment with the image of a middle finger since they’ve promised to never speak a word to us again after that one time the thing happened that we legally can’t really talk about.
Just like always, they refuse to tell the truth about anything. Boycott them more, patriots. Go buy stuff on clearance and burn it. That’s how we show them.
God bless America.
