In a sign that the socialists really have taken over America and are turning our country into a communist cesspool, Tucker Carlson has reported that his children were expelled from school for refusing to use Arabic numerals in their math class. What is this country coming to!

Carlson reported on his nightly Fox wankfest that sweet little Beauregard Lucifer Carlson and Violet Beauregard Carlson were forced to leave their math class after they faced off with their indoctrinated teacher about using Arabic numerals. “My dear twin 10-year-old spawn, who are most definitely not brainwashed socialists, took a stand for decency and using good ol’ American numerals. But their teacher, who was imported to this country from Syria by Barack Obama and George Soros to turn our country into a communist hellscape, refused to back down. They were kicked out of school for not using Arabic numerals. I can’t even,” whined Carlson.

Sandy Batt, the math teacher who kicked them out of class, laughed heartily when contacted by our reporters for a comment on this blatantly fascist, communist, Venezuelan destruction of our country.

Batt said, “Too bad Tucker has convinced those entitled little brats that they’re smart. When I started my lesson using Arabic numerals, they stood up and demanded that I teach them AMERICAN numerals. When I kicked them out for disrupting the class, they screamed to the principal that their rights were being trampled on and that if I didn’t teach them American numerals, I should be deported. I can’t even with these two.”

The demon children’s mother, Violetta Beauregard (who doesn’t use Carlson’s last name because people throw things at her when she does), rolled her eyes, poured an entire bottle of Chardonnary into a venti Starbucks coffee cup, and said, “I’m done with Tucker and these brats. He can have them. Good luck.”

And there you have it, patriots. The Carlson family was destroyed by a socialist using Arabic numerals. Makes perfect sense.


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