Patriots across the nation know that President Donald Trump is the best* president in U.S. history. So a new poll showing that Trump’s PDR has skyrocketed in the last two weeks is no surprise at all.

For most of his one term, Trump enjoyed a PDR of about 52-58 percent. But after he finally admitted that he lost in a landslide, incited a riot at the U.S. Capitol, and risked the lives of fellow American legislators, his PDR is now at about 65 percent. And it’s inching up each day.

Awesome, right?

Louder, for those in the back: PDR stands for Presidential Disapproval Ranking, and the disgusting turd who will slither out of the Oval Office for the last time on January 20 has a really high one.

Sandy Batt, spokesperson for the Daily Executive Ranking of the President, which commissioned the poll, said,

“We knew that his approval rating would tank after at least a portion of the brainwashed rubes finally came to their senses. And now, it’s happened. His disapproval rating has gone through the roof and his approval rating is in the cellar. Actually, the sub-cellar. The cellar below the cellar where no one ever goes. It’s dark and lonely there.”

Trump was at first extremely happy when told that he has the highest PDR in the nation’s history. “I get the best numbers. For everything. Believe me, the best numbers.” After an aide whispered in his ear that a high PDR is actually a bad thing, Trump erupted.

“I gave up everything to line my own pockets and start a cult. And now my world is collapsing. It’s horrible. Really horrible, what these poll numbers mean. All those loans coming due, I’ll have no way to pay them. It’s bad. Really bad.”

January 20 is almost here, patriots. The adults are almost back in charge.

* “Best” in this context means the one with the highest disapproval rating. Ever.


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