Mike Tomlin, head coach of the Pittsburgh Steelers, has issued a mandate to all of his players for the upcoming season: there will be no kneeling on the field.

Tomlin’s statement came as a shock to the team, since the Steelers have been the team with the largest number of unpatriotic kneelers since the crisis began in 2017.

Tomlin says he’s tired of people hating America and not being able to stand and recognize a song for 2 minutes once a week.

“It’s just silly,” Tomlin told reporters, “I can’t stand seeing it.” Three other coaches confirm that Tomlin is vehemently opposed to kneeling on the field.

“He can’t stand it,” said assistant place-kicker coach Joe Barron, “it makes my job tough, but we’ve managed to get two players to hold snaps without their knees touching the ground,” Barron said it’s a good thing you only have to wave for a fair catch these days. Quarterback coach Art Tubolls says Ben Roethlisberger wouldn’t have been a fan of the new “faceplant” technique of taking a knee to end a half — or the game, but the younger players seem alright with it.

Several players have expressed concern that Tomlin’s odd issue with kneeling of any kind could also interfere with pre-game and touchdown prayers. “It just doesn’t seem logical to ban all of it.”

We’ll have to wait and see how it plays out, but thank you, sir, for thinking of America first.

 

266 Comments

  1. peachy
    Reply
    October 7, 2022,

    I got put on restriction on Facebook for sharing a post that indicated Mike Tomlin said this … I guess FB “factcheckers” think they know more than you. I’d like to know their source, but they never respond to inquiries. LOL

    • Don
      Reply
      May 18, 2024,

      fact checkers use their brains, you use your tiny pecker.

  2. tim watt
    Reply
    December 16, 2022,

    A football field is like a stage where the players and refs are the actors. The actors have no right to utilize the football field to promote whatever cause they might espouse just as a stage actor playing Hamlet would have no right to use the stage going off-scrip to promote their cause rather than to recite the lines of the play.

  3. Stephen
    Reply
    December 30, 2022,

    Working I am not allowed to advertise in any way my beliefs, political thought or any other things that could detract me or my team from my primary mission. Kneelers, you are at work, prepare for the GAME! I believe if you are an actor, act. If you are a baseball player, play. If you are a football player, play football. Most of us could care less what you believe, we just want to see you at your best, doing the thing you are getting well paid for! What you do off the field of play is your business, but don’t make it ours on the field. Don’t be a lemming. Stand, place you hand over your heart and thank those who have fought and died for our country during the National Anthem. Then go play and do what you have trained all your life for! We love our football.

    • Don
      Reply
      May 18, 2024,

      YEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHAAAAAAWWWWWW! I GOT A KNEE INJURY N MY FRIEND JEROME GAVE ME SOME ANTI-WOKE BEER!

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