Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback and all-time greatest football player ever, Tom Brady, says he won’t work with the two members of his team who refuse to stop kneeling during the National Anthem. Brady, who sets the team’s decorum rules and makes all final personnel decisions, put them on the bench until they change their tune.

The players, defensive end Joe Barron and outside linebacker Art Tubolls, can’t understand how their kneeling before a game affects Brady’s performance, especially since they’re not on the field at the same time. “That’s not the point,” said Brady’s spokesperson, The Reverend Gida Hulmpbeckster, “it’s about being sound in mind and spirit.”

Brady, who recently divorced his wife, said the most important thing to him right now is football. He said the most important thing to him most of the time is football. “Gisele and I might have lasted much longer had she just been a football,” he told a pal, “I love the way it feels in my hands and the smell when they just come out of the box.”

It’s easy to see why someone who takes his profession that seriously would be offended by people kneeling during the opening song. “I use that time for self-reflection and to honor the game,” said Brady, “I don’t unruly protests upsetting that.”

Nobody in the front office challenged him, and the NFL had nothing to say.

21 Comments

  1. Keith Messinger

    Finally Brady does something I agree with!

    • Tom Veteren

      Screw them park-um then ship them out. Put them back on the streets.

  2. C Bannock

    This is absolute crap. He never said that. How do I know? There are no such players by those names.

    • Barry S.

      You’re right! I googled both names. Neither one is associated in any way with pro football.

  3. watt

    A football game is like a stage where spectators come to see the game. Kneelers are something like an actor playing Hamlet who goes off script to rattle on about some cause that interrupts the flow of the game. If they want to kneel, let them provide their own stage.

  4. coleman munda

    good for tom but evans knelt also

  5. ROBERT J EGAN

    brady is a puke a spoiled rotten ass….buddies w/ trump but refuses to admit it ….at least live your truth ….even if it focked ….

  6. DON KRAHEL

    WHAT IS YOUR MESSAGE WHEN YOU KNEEL DURING OUR NATIONAL ANTHEM? YOU DISRESPECT ALL WHO DIED IN SERVICE TO OUR COUNTRY! YOU DISRESPECT ALL LIVING WOUNDED VETERANS, MANY WITHOUT ARMS n LEGS! YOU DISRESPECT ALL WHO NOW SERVE IN OUR MILITARY, WILLING TO GIVE THEIR LIFE FOR YOU! YOU DISRESPECT ALL MILITARY VETERANS OF WHICH I AM ONE! JUST WHAT IN HELL IS YOUR MESSAGE? KEEP THIS IN MIND AS YOU RATIONALIZE AN ANSWER TO THIS EXTREMELY UNPATRIOTIC ACTION! YES, YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO DO IT, A RIGHT EARNED BY THOSE WHOM YOU DISRESPECT. WILL YOU ALSO SPIT IN OUR EYE AS WE CONFRONT YOU? PROTEST IF YOU WILL, BUT NOT DURING OUR NATIONAL ANTHEM!

    • It was not about disrespecting the flag. It was about you people killing my people in the streets. You made it about the flag as a distraction to what was going on with black people.

      • Roger Myers

        More Black people are killed by Black people than are killed by White people.

  7. STEVE NICKINS

    pure bs if you hate the flag that bad then join a country that will allow you to make the type of incomes you currently live–be disrespectful in russia with your griner buddy and see what happens

  8. Joe R.

    How can I earn that much money while feeling oppressed enough to kneel?

  9. joseph king

    lack of manners thats for sure

  10. Marcus

    Lies. This why the media SUCKS!

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