One good thing about the Toy Story movies is that you never actually have to see creepy Tom Hanks. Imagine being Tim Allen and having the role of Buzz Lightyear, knowing you’ll have to work with him.

“I was skeptical at first,” said Allen, “but then Producer Joe Barron told me we’d be doing all voice work and that we wouldn’t have to actually be together.”

Allen says that he managed to schedule all but about four hours over the course of four movies around Hanks’ time and that the two have never had any meaningful conversations.

“Our relationship was strictly business,” said Allen, “I think he knew that I was privy to the inside scoop on him.”

For legal reasons, Allen wasn’t able to elaborate, but ALLOD Journalisticator Tara Newhole says that Allen “belongs to the cult” and therefore probably believes that Hanks is a pedophile who owns a compound in an extradition-free country.

“It’s just about the silliest thing imaginable,” said Newhole, “But remember…these are people who still believe, even after all the hype of a guy showing up with a big gun,. that a pizza parlor with no basement has a human trafficking operation in its basement.”

We’re not sure why that a valid point, patriots, but we printed it anyway to get over the 200-word mark. God Bless America.

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