Liberal ‘Pranksters’ Send Melania Food Stamps in Hospital

The recent news of the President and first lady being treated for testing positive for the deadly Coronavirus is nothing to make light of and, some say, qualifies as a full-out American crisis.  But leave it to the radical left to abandon sympathy for mean-spirited pranksterism in the face of it all, this time, aimed at Melania Trump.

As of this morning, Sandy Batt, Director of Patient Import/Export Goods has reported that over two thousand parcels have arrived to the first lady’s room at the Walter Reed hospital, all, after being scanned by security devices, revealed to contain low-value food stamps, perhaps the pranksters show of attitude meant to convey how unconcerned they are about the first couple’s conditions.

The President himself isn’t immune either, no pun intended.  His room has been loaded with hundreds of rolls of paper towels, another snarky “joke” as the commander in chief fights for his very life in solitude, having only a television to comfort him.  Fox News has begun broadcasting subliminal signals in their programs targeted specifically to Mr. Trump, using frequencies known to have a positive effect on gorillas and fecal-rolling pigs.

These are only a few of the stunning examples of nasty materials that have been mailed to the pair of troubled shitbags.  Dozens of “Trumpy Bears”, stuffed with rotten eggs, cartons of Lucky Strike cigarettes, and even a whole watermelon boasting a cut-out hole labeled “Ivanka” have made their way into the sterile rooms where America’s Most D-Studenty Couple await their fates.

These displays of obnoxious indifference are a terrible display of bipartisan ignorance to the very people charged with saving America from going forwards and being a nation to be proud of.  Liberals seem to be so opposed to going backwards and saving lives that they’ve turned to childish tomfoolery to make their voices heard.  What’s next?  Pop rocks and soda?