‘The View’ Is Now ABC’s Lowest Rated Program

Daily talkfest “The View” has taken a long series of falls, as of late.  With stiffening competition like CBS’s “The Talk”, NBC’s offering of “American Horsesh*t”, and endless options granted by various steaming services, the show is suffering a ratings deficit.

Echoing former failures like Herman’s Head, Are You Smarter Than a Trumptard, and The Conservative Grammar Ower, the interview and variety show is dead last in ratings, finally.  Sandra Batt of the network’s marketing division feels the problem may stem from the rotating cast of hosts.

“Whoopi Goldberg, obviously, is trouble.  Who would expect early morning Trump chubbers to pay attention to a black woman in the morning?  And Joy Behar is a mess.  I’m not entirely sure why she’s still there.”

The rampant stream of liberal opinion and policy may also be too frightening and realistic for the old and infirm Fox News cases that are up at the hour.

“They’re used to that shitty ass ‘Fox and Friends’ dipshit-o-rama that’s been on forever, and that’s a problem.  Maybe we need a complete idiot like Tomi Loren or Dennis Prayer on there to fulfill their fantasies. That’ll sell more adult diapers and ‘magnetic healing beads.'”

The network has made clear it’s intention to cut bait and cancel the show, possibly as soon as next month.  Then what will the hosts do?  Weep into Nancy Pelosi’s ice cream?