(Special report by Milton James)

In her last official decision as a Supreme Court Justice presiding over a 7-2 majority opinion, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsber ordered Facebook to be reorganized as a 501c3 non-for-profit organization. By law, such incorporations cannot participate in political speech or activity without incurring substantial, and sometimes crippling fines by the IRS.

For a variety of reasons, much of the IRS is also looking to cripple the cast of Shark Tank.

The surprise majority included Brett Kavanaugh, who wept as he exclaimed angrily that without the incessant political smear posts by the right on the notoriously liberal platform founded by owner and CEO Mark Zuckerburg, his quest to become the most drunk and rapiest jurist in the history of the Supreme Court would have been conducted nearly invisibly. Instead, he had to face withering dissent from his daughters, who were embarrassed to attend their unbelievably sheltered private schools and instead had to attend public schools where no one knew or cared who they were.

Justice Clarence Thomas stood in dissent but inconceivably, was also sleeping in the corner at the same time. The motion for dissent was by Neil Gorsuch raising Thomas’ hand for him, while muffling the loud snoring emitted by the Silent Justice.

A statement released by Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s spokesperson and long-time confidant, Joe Barron, said that an organization as politically powerful as Facebook, utterly unrestrained by any connection to the First Amendment must be held to account. Barron stated “With unrelenting efforts by our enemies in Communist China to tilt the playing field toward Joe Biden, Trump will never win his well-deserved second and third terms. Biden, who is clearly not capable of handling the job of President without copious amounts of Adderal and daily golf outings, must not get the keys to the Presidential Bunker, if he won’t show the American people the keys to his own Biden Basement Bunker.”

Biden’s Bunker is currently listed at over three million dollars. There’s an X-Box AND a PS4.

In her majority opinion, Ruth Bader Ginsburg wrote “Facebook will now be a platform OF the American People, FOR the American People American patriots deserve a free and fair election without plutocrat Tech CEOs suppressing political opinions they disagree with. Even if I disagree with them as well. The First Amendment and IRS code 5011c3 are too important to Truth, Justice and The American Way”.

1 Comment

  1. Facebook is wild!

    I once saw someone get shot while strolling through Facebook live. It was not Ronnie, to be certain. It was still better than trumps presidency.

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