Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, socialist of California, was overheard predicting that Melania Trump is going to file for divorce from our dear leader, President Donald J. Trump, immediately following his reelection loss on November 3.
Pelosi thought she had muted a Zoom call when she decided to tell her husband that the word on the street in Washington, DC, is that Melania has hired a high-powered divorce attorney to fleece impeached President Trump as soon as his loss is official.
“All she ever wanted was a kid, English language lessons, lots and lots of plastic surgery, and a way out of lesbian porn modeling. Trump gave her that, and now she’s ready to take him for all he’s worth HAHAHAHA. I hope she enjoys that hundred bucks,” Pelosi said to her husband during a break in her Zoom meeting.
Sandy Batt, the toughest divorce attorney in Washington, DC, refused to comment on the rumor that Melania has hired her to rip up her marriage contract with Donald.
“I’m bound by Covenant 420, Section 69, of the District of Columbia Department of Sham Immigration Marriages Handbook, and I’m unable to comment on whether or not my client Melania Trump will be watching CNN on Election Night, waiting for Wolf Blitzer to declare Trump’s loss, at which point she may or may not slide the divorce papers under his bedroom door with a Post-It note demanding a signature by morning.”
Impeached President Trump was reported to be really angry about Pelosi’s horrible comment, and he tried valiantly to kick a hole in the wall in the Oval Office.
All he managed to do was wave his little foot near the wall, though, given that he’s a feeble, doddering, decrepit old person with no physical strength and little feet to match his tiny hands.
Melania’s office denied the despicable rumor. “Melania is Trump’s favorite of his wives and until she turns 51 — at which point their prenup says he can trade her in for someone younger than Ivanka — she’s not going anywhere.”
