Christmas season is nearly upon us. Shoppers are slowly beginning to head out and fill their local stores looking for gifts to fill the year-end celebration of Christ, Yahweh, and whatever or whoever “Kwanzaa” is with glee and good cheer.
Sho Nuff don’t need no Kwanzaa. He got Loot Box.
But hold the phone. It’s still the year of Joe Biden and his ridiculous overreaction to the nationwide Trump Plague that’s ravaging our great United States, and his vaccine mandate is in full effect. Airlines want to see your “passport” before you can fly. Hospitals, before you can have a new nose. Adult theaters before you can unbuckle.
And now, as of November the first of this year, the nation’s largest retailer wants you to show your papers at the door, just like a Nazi-era Jew getting off a train. How hardcore was that comparison?
Wal-Mart and it’s subsidiaries like Sam’s Club and Dairy Queef will begin allowing only those prepared to show their vaccine passports upon entry the privilege of their customership. Shoppage. You get it.
The corporation’s head of Public Relations, Sandy Batt, told Fox News this last Monday that it’s time for Americans to stop acting like little babies and get the goddamn vaccine already.
“I can’t for the life of me figure out what the hell is wrong with these idiotic anti-vaxxers. I’ve heard all the stupid reasons. Seen all the easily debunked YouTube videos. They believe in absolute fiction and it would be funny if it wasn’t so dangerous.
From now on, if you’re planning on running around being a plague rat, go do it at Target. I hear those guys are going to just beat first and ask second. So hey, Merry fu*kin Christmas.”
I got it as a gift. Now, is this the thing AND it’s coffin all in one?
Passport or no, the coming Christmas shopping season promises to be a huge step up from the bad old Trump days. Let’s all get out there and buy junior an Avengers mask!
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.
