In what’s being referred to by the Democrat spin machine as : “An unfortunate series of misunderstandings,” Senator Leslie Knope (D, Indiana), has recently gone viral as the star of an internet video that features her onstage at a small town rally for Presidential candidate Joe Biden, screaming loudly, and setting fire to a Bible.

“I know this looks bad, Mr. Biden, but at least we can roast marshmallows? Kosher marshmallows?”

The senator, a freshman who worked her way into the position after years of service with the Pawnee, Indiana, Parks and Recreation department, immediately apologized for what she termed : “A really crappy happenstance that should never have…happenstanced.”  Joe Barron related the story, substituting for Perd Hapley, who had himself been filling in for Joan Calamezzo, who has been sent to the bagel shop for Joe Barron.

Representitive of the Knope office, April Ludgate, told a difficult to accept tale.

“Okay, so, Leslie had talked to Ron because she was nervous because she’s like a huge fan of this Joe Boxer guy, or whoever.  I guess Ron had told her that one of the more important things to do is play to the religious people, so he gave her this Bible that he always had with him because after he goes deer hunting, he likes to read something out of it to the dead deer.  So anyway, he had the Bible in his glove compartment under a box of bullets, and it was covered with gunpowder, which now that I know exists, I’m going to use instead of that fruity moisturizer Ann gave me.  Anyway, when she held it up, her fingers rubbed against it because she’s a spaz, and it went up like rain around Adele.”

“Because she set FIRE to the RAIN, kids! And so can you with Tom’s new Fizzy Tizzie Torchizzy! $19.95! Call me anytime except now!”

Knope’s security officer, former FBI specialist Burt Macklin moved quickly to contain the small blaze and tried unsuccessfully to divert attention away from cameras by announcing that “there were naked clowns having a circus right around the corner.”  Further investigation found only a man identified only as “Jerry” in his underpants.  But that’s a whole different story.


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