Where Joe Biden tends to be a soft-spoken and issues-centered candidate who avoids controversy and fiery rhetoric, his running mate Kamala Harris seems to stand in a direct mirror-image caricature of that attitude. Indeed, some say, echoing President Trump’s openness and unfearing verbal acumen, the hard-hitting take-no-prisoners district attorney seems not to be afraid to stir the political pot.
This weekend, during a low-key campaign stop in Queeftown, Pennsylvania, where the pair are running just ahead of the now horizontal President, Harris handled the questions from an assembled crowd of over two-hundred at the Joe Barron Fidget Spinner plant. The result of one conservative interrogator, who had slipped into the event disguised as a transsexual ballerina, made waves.
“What do you think about Kenyan usurping and pizza slavery while communism is rioting in our streets and cupping my balls with taxes and phony mask hoaxes and all the Benghazi making Benghazi into traitorous Benghazi impeachments, Benghazi?” the man blumpkined, who was later identified as 88-year old Clete Torris, a retired employee of the local Astroglide-packaging plant.
“Let me see if I can respond to that Trump Induced Handicappery,” the VP nominee replied. “Sir, I’m very sorry that you have to live with your obvious condition of chronic stoopfuckacitus. Too bad your cult leader axed your Obamacare, huh? Anyway, it kills me that you numnuts are still triggered by ‘Benghazi’ after eleven hearings, two shitty movies, and absolutely zero understanding on your part about the events of it. Benghazi was a giant nothingburger that the Republicans fed you ignorant twats because they had nothing else to invent about Obama. That’s it. Nothingburger. At this point I’ll remind you that between both of the mentally deranged special kids you put in the Big Chair, G.W. and Fatboy Trump, over 250,000 Americans died preventable deaths. Have him placed in my office for flogging, please.”
Torris was quickly escorted out by security and reappeared several days later stuffed into a garbage can naked outside of a Pennsylvania Scientology center.
