When people think of Christmas, they typically think of the usual tropes and commercial symbolism and decor associated with the winter season : Santa Claus, candy canes, and gift wrap.  Sometimes lost is the true tale behind the celebration, the birth of Jesus Christ in a small manger under the star of Bethlehem.

“You should really be worshipping what me and counselor Troi got up to under the star of Raisa. Heh. Meeeeow!”

Well starting this December, if it’s up to Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi and her congressional Democrats led by Representitive Ilhan Omar, that story will become taboo, at least in public displays in front of department stores, parks, or even private properties.  According to House Bill NC-1701C, the display of the Nativity will be considered “Religious indoctrination in violation of the separation of church and state stipulated by the United States constitution,” and will be forbidden.

Omar, who was brought up with teachings from the Church of Mormon and the Latter Day Saints, announced her bill at the Joe Barron Center for the Decaffeinated yesterday in a short speech from the top of a bacon truck.

“It’s time to grow up.  Everyone loves the Christmas season, but the childish and ridiculous tale of a ‘virgin birth’ and the manger and the superpowers has gone on far enough.  I was taught that in America, we didn’t succumb to fairy stories and age-old mythology.  These are the enemies of progress.  These little dioramas are nothing but indoctrination, advertising for a sillly and irrational religious fantasy and need to be eliminated all at once, like tearing off a band aid.  It is time for America to finally embrace reality and common sense.  Salaam and bless Joeseph Smith and the Great Plates.”

Next they’re coming after those goop eggs. Don’t you have enough diabetes, people?

The bill is quickly making its way through Congress and is enjoying nearly unanimous Democratic support, which means it should pass by sometime in mid-November.  I guess the local garbage dump is about to be the new nursery for quite a few baby Jesus’s.


No comments yet. Why don’t you start the discussion?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *