Although Kamala Harris has not yet been officially inaugurated into her position as Vice President of the United States, she’s already taking charge when it comes to discipline. That lesson became all too clear to a now former member of the Secret Service after the prominent California prosecutor fired him for refusing to greet her with a respectful salute acknowledging her status.
Harris was taught manners at a young age by her grandfather Ming.
Agent Joe Barron, a 30-year veteran of the elite Presidential security force encountered Mrs. Harris after his detail was ordered to accompany Mrs. Harris and a number of her personal aides to a hair and nail appointment at a Washington salon. According to witnesses, Harris became agitated when Barron refused to salute the controversially-elected firebrand and ordered him let go right in front of his friends and everything. Two weeks ’til retirement.
D.C. insider and former grape-swallowing world record holder Harry Titsennips says that this isn’t the first time Kamala Harris has lost her temper and it certainly won’t be the last.
“With Kamala, it’s all about respect. Big time. If she feels anyone, from her secret service agents to the King of Saudi Arabia, to a random kid walking by her on the way to school doesn’t show her what she feels is the proper level of respect for her position, it’s ON. I have seen that woman beat a Fox News reporter into a coma with her shoe for referring to her blouse as ‘purple’ instead of ‘violet’. Kamala’s not effing around. The next four years are going to be a cavalcade of ballbusting.”
“No, caller, I don’t think she’ll call you ‘Miss Lindsey’ and slap you with palm fronds.”
The now unemployed agent has explained to superiors that he was unaware of the new Vice President’s identity and assumed she was Fast and Furious star Michelle Rodriguez. That’s exactly the sort of remark that’s sure to earn him a bent-over taint booting in public on Pennsylvania avenue from now on.
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.
