Malia Obama alleges that Kyle Rittenhouse, the 2A hero who successfully defended himself against criminals and a pedophile at a BLM riot, grabbed her butt at an event at Harvard. Rittenhouse, who was denied admission to Arizona State after “woke” students protested his attendance, received a grant from a Trump charity to attend the prestigious campus in West Newbury, Cambridge.
According to Malia, Kyle walked up behind her at a kegger at Epsilon Delta Masochon, the fraternity in Belmont Square, and started sniffing her hair, asking if that’s how “sleep Joe” dis it. When she told him to “fuck off,” he supposedly pinched her butt and then took a full handful, asking if it made her “moist.”
Malia kicked the young, pretentious douchebag in the nuts and left, alerting authorities to the incident. Rittenhouse hasn’t been questioned or charged, as he went to his Father’s house in Kenosha, Wisconsin, where he could be “close to the community he loves.”
While he’s spent next to no time there, the young militiaman has killed a couple of people in town, so he’s alright with the locals. Hopefully, Obama’s story goes nowhere, since even if she’s telling the truth,. there’s no way anyone on the right would ever admit it.
God bless America.