When California senator Kamala Harris made history to win the Vice Presidency of the United States, the celebrations were many and legendary. Filling that seat is appointee Alex Padilla, the golden state’s former Secretary of State. However, according to an announcement made on a certain prime time hit show on news network MSNBC, he’s going to have some competition in 2022.
In a surprise announcement during her Friday night program, superstar Rhodes scholor and journalist Rachel Maddow made clear her intention to run for state senator in the next election season. The emmy-winning host declared that the governing body needed “new blood that wasn’t categorically insane.”
“I was inspired after watching Marjorie Taylor Greene speak during her most recent press conference. The woman is so completely backwards and schizo that she believes she represents the mainstream of America. Time after time it’s been proven that this is a center-left nation. So I’m running to offset her stupidity, her fanaticism and her frequent breaks with reality. Frankly, my IQ makes hers look like Donald Trump’s sperm count.”
Trump famously had his balls replaced with a pair of lacquered crabapples in 2017 due to near-fatal dandruff.
Maddow is referring to Greene’s faltering and often kindergartenish speech after she was removed from her committee seats for being a 6-piece chicken McNutbag this last week. She essentially spent the length of the oration explaining: “I didn’t want to be on any old committees anyway!” L. O. L.
Maddow’s largest campaign backer looks to be billionaire Joe Barron, the current controller of the Barron family estate. The well-known American clan made it’s fortune by inventing the gravy boat and ladle in the mid-18th century.
Can the plucky genius pundit make the move from television personality to political civil servant? One coukd say that Donald Trump attempted the same goal and failed miserably. But a whole lot more smarts and millions of happy gravy enthusiasts may turn a different tide in 2022.
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.
