Kathy Griffin’s Comedy Tour Canceled Indefinitely due to “Ridiculously Low Ticket Sales”

If there’s one thing just about everyone can agree on, it’s that Kathy Griffin stopped being funny a long time ago. It’s so glaringly apparent that her latest tour, which was supposed to rejuvenate her career Roseanne-style, was just canceled for “ridiculously low ticket sales.”

“Her jokes don’t go over well with the general public,” said Tour Manager Joe Barron, “Unless you agree with her politics, she’s basically just insulting you.”

Barron says Griffin is considering looking into a job with MSNBC or possibly even with ABC’s “The View.” “She’d probably fit right in with them,” said Barron,” They’re into the whole woke thing.”

He hopes that his next tour, “Don’t go Woke” starring Rob Schneider will be what the comedy world needs to recover from all the wokie woke wokeness.

“Rob is a good egg,” said Barron, “He’s probably gonna do the male version of Roseanne’s latest routine, since he really doesn’t have a lot of talent of his own, and he’ll end it, of course, with three or four different versions of ‘you can dew eeet’ and a shoutout to Adam Sandler.”

It seems like more and more quality comedians are filling in the gaps left by losers like Alec Baldwin and Amy Schumer. Now we can add Griffin to that list.

It’s a great day for your confirmation bias, patriots, and, of course, for comedy. God Bless America.