Citing “blatant multiple attempts to bring about legal action despite lacking any evidence, viable witnesses, or realistic claims”, incoming Vice President Kamala Harris has filed a series of lawsuits against former President Donald Trump and members of his legal team, including Rudy Guliani.  All told, Harris is asking for the maximum penalties in her cases, including fines totalling over sixteen million dollars and possibly up to five years in prison.

That’s unfortunately, enough time for Melania’s surgeries to degrade.

The suits allege that Guliani and Trump have wasted court time, money, and resources in a baseless attempt to garner sympathy for the latter’s overwhelming and proven loss in the 2020 election, as well as to rile up a mentally handicapped and easily duped cult base to purposefully committ violence.

Joe Barron, host of MSNBC’s popular Barron Witness program called Trump and the members of his legal team : “straight-up domestic terrorists” last week and wondered aloud how it was possible that anyone could believe their ridiculous and irrational conspiratorial fairy tales.

“I’d have to blame something, some ingredient in cheap malt liquor or something, that makes Trump’s supporters borderline human clams.  First they buy the evil computer in Germany hogwash, then the mutant sleestak lady with her kraken a sling, and then Rudy pulls some drunk nutter out of some 12 Monkeys movie trailer to annoy some poor cameramen.  I hope Kamala and her crew throw the book at this infantile failed President and his filthy shitbag lawyers.  Put them all in Gitmo and take a picture for Obama’s Christmas cards.”

Last year’s card with Patrick Swayze inviting the holder to “Dirty fucking dance me, ho” didn’t go over as well as expected.

Former legal defense agent and clitoral absence sufferer Sydney Powell has already responded to the news by positioning herself behind a beer-can art sculpture in her back yard to avoid detection by authorities.

Kamala Harris made it clear during her candidacy that she doesnt view justice as a political tool or a joke.  It sounds like Trump and his people are going to find that out the hard way – from behind bent over a communal prison cell toilet.

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