A special session meeting of the United Nations Security Council took place yesterday, and an historic change was made that will affect our country’s standing on the world stage for the next six years.  For the first time ever, the council voted to drop the President of the United States as the Representitive of the country in favor of a unanimous decision favoring a “more qualified alternate.”  Hillary Clinton.

The emergency session was called by Germany’s Angela Merkel, who wrote an affidavit to the world governing body that claimed Trump is too “unstable” and “mentally unfit” to represent his nation, citing U.N. article 3 under Agenda 22 guidelines.  Clinton was posed as one among several alternatives including former President Barack Obama, reality show star Kim Kardashian, and a Subway meatball sandwich, all of whom have far higher intelligence quotient scores than the embattled morbidly obese leader.

I’ll tell you who has a governing body – Melissa Benoist of Supergirl. Mmmm, she can squeeze my coal into diamond anyday.

Clinton Foundation spokesperson and black belt in unagi maki Joe Barron flew to Oslo to accept the position on Clinton’s behalf since the former Presidential candidate is currently appearing onstage with Taylor Swift to perform a cover of the Lipps Inc. classic “Funkytown.”

“Mrs. Clinton would like to thank all representatives of member nations and humbly accepts the position to represent her beloved country.  Having experience far exceeding a mentally handicapped and overweight reality show host, she pledges to repair the damage that Trump has done to the reputation and trustworthiness of America.  No longer will you have to worry about trying to translate his streams of lies into clear English, nor will you need to deal with his wafting odor of rotting cheese farts stinking up the chamber.  Thank you for your wisdom.”

The council has also voted Obama’s new beard as : “Unnecessarily Firefly Shepherd-Book-y.”

Clinton will be appearing at the next Council meeting within the month to discuss a coming globalist agenda and future of microchipping the populace in order to control freedom.  Tomorrow’s world is all in the hands of Hillary.  As it should be.

1 Comment

  1. A meatball sub sandwich

    Hey! I am great at speeches! I am unsure why people call me yummy though. That’s gross!

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