Gordon Ramsay loves using fresh ingredients. When those aren’t available, however, he has a very select list of companies he’ll vouch for. That list included Tyson Foods…until just recently.

“I’m not going down with that sinking ship,” said Ramsay, “I don’t care how much the kids love those Dino Nuggets.”

Even in fine dining establishments, Tyson Crispy Strips and Dino Nuggets are rated top favorites for kids’ meals. “You can’t beat the price, and the quality is spot on,” said Ramsay.

Ramsay says he’s not really interested in the arguments surrounding the Tyson boycott, anly that he doesn’t want to be involved. “That’s not my fight, whatever it is,” he said, “If you ask me the whole thing is bollox.”

Tyson shot itself in the foot when the company revealed its secret recruiting methods. “We hire migrant workers to do the low-wage, labor-intensive jobs Americans wouldn’t do for twice the money,” said Tyson CEO Joe Barron, “And yes, we are planning on investing in insect proteins to feed the animals because it will be cost effective and lower the carbon footprint of chicken farming.”

Those bastards. They have no right to do those things that might enrich some immigrant or refugee lives and help the environment while at the same time ensuring a lower production cost that keeps the price of poultry at the supermarket the lowest of all the meats.

Something has to be done about that. And run-on sentences. God bless America.

5 Comments

  1. maxie

    immigrant? refugee? lol! maybe americans won’t work for tyson for ‘twice the money’ because of poor working conditions, lack of decent benefits/insurance and the fact that, sure ‘immigrants, refugees’, will work for next to nothing they are here for a ‘better life’ supposedly. so working for low wages enables them to collect ebt cards, welfare, free housing, etc. while one person may work for tyson, the other(s) are working for cash under the table as house cleaners, lawn care, etc. thanks tyson for enabling them to collect even more off the taxpayers because you don’t want to pay a decent wage to an american! how much longer before they hire kids? murders? ill-eagles? while they may be trying to fee insects to the chickens, that company also uses insects made into powder to be a food additive from what i read,

  2. Dodo maxie

    Woo HOO – you’ve hooked yourself a real live Tater Flagg … albeit a particularly dim-witted one !
    Not sure how they hire “murders?” ( maybe after they’re dead you sack them ?? ) but the hiring of sick birds made me laugh at loud …”ill-eagles?” you say Dodo !
    Not wishing to appear contempetuous toward the impenetrably stupid – but I’m gonna suggest that when moron maxie refers to “what i read” ( Capital I there maxie … as well as a capital M ), the genre is strictly limited to comics.
    Toot toot – stay angry dipshit.

  3. Half Wit maxie - April tool

    P.S Happy birthday maxie – today’s the day for fools and tools and you’re a world class halfwit Bro !

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