Rittenhouse Victim’s Brother is Dating Goldberg

Kyle Rittenhouse is a champion of life, liberty, and the pursuit of  criminality. After one fateful night in Kenosha, Wisconsin, where he thankfully put an end to two disgusting pedos, he’s nonetheless been vilified by the media as a “freed murderer”, even after a fair and balanced trial.

After the whole hullabaloo died down, Rittenhouse went the quiet legal route, suing those ignorant enough to besmirch his reputation during the event.  Joe Biden, Phil Collins, and at the top of the list, comedianne and actress Whoopi Goldberg, with whom he settled for 99.5 million dollars.

Now, to add insult to injury, Goldberg has been seen and confirmed canoodling with none other than Herbert Huber, brother of the late Rittenhouse victim Anthony Huber.  The two posed for pictures together outside of New York’s swanky Orgasmus dinner club.

Gossip columnist Sandra Batt told assembled media figures a little detail about the burgeoning relationship.

“Whoopi met him at a fundraiser for the View so it doesn’t get shitcanned from the ABC lineup, and it was an instant bloom.  She and Herbert disappeared into a coat room full of coke and cherry pie for like two hours, just humping and grunting.  I’m pretty certain he rammed Guinan right up her Jeffrie’s tube.  Adorable.”

Whether Hollywood’s hottest new item remains a couple is up in the air.  But banging the living crap out of each other is a good start.