Nearly a decade after destroying Roseanne Barr’s career, ABC has officially apologized.

“We were wrong,” said a statement from Network CEO Joe Barron, “We overlooked Roseanne’s dark sense of humor and failed to see the satirical nature of her comments.”

Roseanne didn’t respond directly to the note but instead took to her podcast to let the network know exactly how she felt. “They can get f*cked,” she said without skipping a beat, “Are they gonna give me back my money and my show?”

ABC says it has no intention of compensating Barr for its mistake, but Barron insists that he’d be open to her writing a new show.

Roseanne told ALLOD Correspondent Tara Newhole that she’s not writing a show for ABC or anyone. “They don’t deserve me,” she said, “especially when I can make bank on Twitter.” It’s true. In the world of Elon’s X, you can put up a video and claim that everyone who saw it scroll past in ther feed is a “view,” which translates to untold successes, according to anyone in MAGA country.

“Roseanne pointed to the Andrew Tate interview on Tuckers show and how it got 93 million views, which is more than double any other interview in history,” Newhole reported, “Of course, that number is a bit of a lie and everyone knows it, but still…it makes for a good meme.”

On the spot as usual, Tara. Thanks for checking in. God Bless You and God Bless America.


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