Mark Zuckerberg, the billionaire founder of Facebook, is a died-in-the-wool communist who hates freedom of speech.

And now he is taking away Americans’ freedom of speech by demanding that they publicly announce their political party preference on their Facebook profiles.

How dare he! It’s almost like he doesn’t pay attention to the fact that more than a third of the country never shows up to vote and just doesn’t care!

It’s also almost like he’s trying to humiliate Republicans by using the power of the world’s largest social media platform to show that there are more Democrats and Independents than Republicans!

Sandy Batt, Zuckerberg’s personal assistant, announced,

“As of January 6, 2021, all American Facebook users age 18 and over will be required to pick their political party. If they don’t, their profiles will be deleted permanently on January 7.”

The political party choices have already been added to Facebook: Independent, Democratic, Knuckle-Dragging Morons for Trump, Green, and Libertarian.

There is no option for “decline to state” or “I don’t care enough about democracy to get off my ass and pick a side.”

Real American patriots are already very angry about this un-Constitutional demand from Facebook. A guy named Cletus Vernon from Alabaster Shoals, Alabama, wrote a comment on Zuckerberg’s Facebook page: “Y wud u do this? I dont car about politicks cept for Trump. And that nuckle-drag thing sound bad.”

Trump himself weighed in on Twitter: “Republicans are the only true patriots. Everyone else needs to move to Venezuela with Hugo Chavez who’s been dead for years but somehow stole the election from me. It’s always about me. Isn’t it? It really is. Republicans are now called Trumpists. That’s a good name. Isn’t it? I love it. It has my name in it. I have the best name. Believe me.”

Log in to pick your party before the 7th. It would be a shame to lose a decade’s worth of memes about the flag and freedom if you don’t.


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