With candidate Joe Biden leading every poll for the election, some by double digits, the general atmosphere in Washington D.C. is one of defeated expectancy.

Dozens of White House employees and interns have been quickly and quietly updating their resumes and seeking open spots with lobbying organizations and local vape clubs.

“President Trump had me make charts of female reporter’s bra sizes, but I’m confident I can really kill it making Reubens.”

In Congress, work has been feverish to write bills and legislature that will overturn, demolish, and otherwise completely erase any damaging impact that President Donald Trump has had on the country.

Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is going one step forward and crafting paperwork to immediately start Joe Biden’s goals on day one of his Presidency.

“We’re getting rid of all the Trump garbage nobody under the age of 80 actually wanted,” she explained to Rolling Queef’s Sandra Batt.  “We have to prepare for America’s future, not pander to those on their way out.  We don’t go backwards.   Now, we’ve seen the ads accusing Joe Biden of getting ‘amnesty’ ready.  Literally no one proposed that.  It’s another fear mongering lie by a handicapped Donald Trump because that’s all he has.  But fine, I figure we might as well give him his wish.  Amnesty it is.  I’ll have that ready for Joe’s first day.  Be careful what bullshit you sling around, fatboy.  I’ll call you out every time.”

The Congressional bill, GL-2112, will set aside millions in funding to have modified T-shirt cannons installed along the southern border of the United States.

Each of these “Amnesty Freedom Cannons” will automatically fire “Citizenship Packages” at anyone crossing.

Each package contains a card with a social security number, a provisinary driver’s license, a job application for a local construction company, and five hundred dollars in cash, along with a complimentary turkey and gruyere pesto wrap sandwich, courtesy of Quiznos.

Quiznos was the very first restaurant to explain why the mouse meat in their sandwiches is so tender.

It looks like the Democrats have found one way to combat the false narrative of President Trump’s ridiculous campaign ads – turn them against him.

Don’t hate the player, Great Pumpkin.  Hate the game.


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