He was the President of the United States for four years. He lived in the White House, made monumentally important decisions, and appointed judgeships. Now, thrown out by an overwhelming number of his fellow Americans and impeached twice, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi wants to remove Donald Trump’s very status as a citizen from him to boot.
“Hey man, before you bounce an’ shit, how much for that golddigga bish? I got a opening.”
The rise and fall of the worst President in our country’s history is a tale of incompetence, chicanery, and an almost hypnotic command of his cult fan base. Although he brags about an assumed status in the future as a major player, whether in politics or the private sector, Trump may have to conduct his coming business as a man without a country.
Legal aid to Kamala Harris, Sandy Batt, explained how the Speaker can achieve such a goal, and what it would mean for the morbidly obese failure of a leader.
“Pelosi is able to use the Lee/Lifeson/Peart act of 1969, which added safeguards into the position for exactly this type of threat. Removal of Donald Trump’s status as a citizen would eliminate him as a “danger to the population as a seditious and untrustworthy agent of damage.” This proclamation, if made official, would require Trump’s deportation to a viable country of acceptance within six months time. Of course, I have no idea which country would even allow him entry now. Maybe Russia? Or one of those islands with like, one person and a banana tree on it.”
“OTHER SIDE OF THAT WALL, FAT BOY! IT’S CALLED IRONY!”
In accordance with such a sentence, Trump would also obviously lose all perks afforded an ex-President, including secret service protection, a pension, and a presidential library.
A wise man once said, “The more you understand, seems the more like you do
You never get away – everybody wants you.” Well, that’s about to become the direct opposite of Donald Trump’s remaining time on earth. America, it’s been agreed, is greater again without him.
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.
