Oliver Anthony’s new album just dropped, and one of the songs is getting a lot of attention. “I Don’t Care About Your Pronouns” is taking the music charts by storm but setting off little bombs inside the heads of liberals.
“I think it’s a disgusting title and an even worse song,” said Taylor Swift, or someone pretending to be her on Facebook, “This guy wouldn’t even accept my invitation to join me on stage in another ploy for page views and click bonuses.”
Of course she tried to make it about her. Anyway, the new song is so popular that it sold out on iTunes in under an hour and Spotify is charging 99 cents just to listen to it once. Napster has the full version if you don’t mind getting a visit from the FBI in 2002.
While the song isn’t as popular as the also newly-released “Let Me Explain About the Fudge Rounds,” it is doing far better than “I’m Not Into Politics, I’m a Bible Thumping Drunk.”
“People didn’t really like me using the term ‘bible-thumping,'” Oliver or someone pretending to be him told us in an email, “But it’s who I am. Someday the two things will spark a really endearing story of success in a 12-step program.”
Someone pretending to be the still-able-to-speak corpse of Toby Keith said he’d never be caught dead on stage with Garth Brooks for some reason, and his wife, Karen, agreed and kicked him out of her knitting circle.
That’s the way things escalate when stuff gets emotional, patriots. God Bless America.
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