President Joe Biden went into the East Room for his annual address on the 4th of July, and quickly forgot what day it is. After the teleprompter went out, aides told him to just adlib something for the 4th. “For the 4th,” he said, “gotcha.”

“My fellow Americans,” he said, “Happy 4th of…uh…the month. Today, the 4th, is a day we’ll never forget. A day that our forefathers knew would come one day, and here it is, on the 4th.”

Just then the teleprompters came back online and the president recited his speech, with a bit of a stammer here and there. Not too shabby, though. According to sources, they’re trying to make it look like it was all staged for fun while they reset the teleprompters, but we all know Joe Biden is most likely either a clone or an autonomous machine, like most birds.

The White House once again refused our request for comment but said Sleepy Joe “gets a real kick out of your stuff.” We’ll take a compliment any way we can, patriots, even from a robot.

God bless America.


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