Canada Refuses Alyssa Milano’s Residency Request: “You Have No Skills”

Allysa Milano is crying and claiming she’s a victim again, this time after the Canadian government denied her request for a residency visa. “I can’t believe they turned me down,” Milano said on Instagram, “I’m one of Canada’s greatest advocates.”

That’s true. Milano often talks about moving to Canada and was heard once calling Prime Minister Justin Trudeau “hot.” Conservatives have for years asked stars like Milano when they planned to make good on their promises and move their happy selves to Canada.

“That’s why she’s doing it,” said longtime friend Joe Barron, “she was tired of hearing “why don’t you move to Canada!” all the time so she decided she’d just go ahead and do it.”

Milano spent nearly $2 million having a green home built out of nothing but human waste and now she won’t be able to enjoy it.

“Ms. Milano is welcome to come for two weeks every year like everyone else. Otherwise, she has no skills the Canadian people feel worthy of offering her citizenship for. We have plenty of activists.”

What’s next for Alyssa Milano? Since she can’t move to Canada, maybe we’ll have her start her own lesbian NASCAR team or something. You never know with that crazy little thing.

God Bless America.