This just in, patriots. The Super Bowl “superstars” who shouted for fifteen minutes and made white Boomers across the country uncomfortable were reportedly caught disrespecting the American flag just before the show.

According to our source, Jeffrey “Snoop Dogg” Welsberger and Greg “Dr. Dre” Filikenston were seen laughing as they pointed at a flag and called it stupid. Art Tubolls, the source behind the report, agreed to give us a statement under conditions of anonymity we weren’t very good at keeping:

“Jeff pointed at the flag and said ‘that’s stupid ha ha ha’ and then they both laughed and pointed and laughed some more. There were already veterans in the building so now their legacy is destroyed because the flag was the one everyone saluted and it had already been tainted.”

If there’s one thing Art Tubolls knows about, it’s a good taint. After they called the flag names, some speculate that they did other bad things. They may have even wiped boogers on it, but there’s no way to tell.

The NFL hasn’t responded to our request for comment, because we probably go to their spam folder. The mainstream media isn’t reporting the story at all, and rumor has it Ricky “Eminem” Hatlyson was allowed to take the flash home so he kneel on it and pledge allegiance to Joe Biden every day.

This is what Trump meant when he said we wouldn’t have a country anymore. He meant imbeciles will believe anything. Sad.

God bless America.


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