Biden Announcement: ‘All Tax Returns Must Be Filed Using Arabic Numerals’

In a move that will anger real Americans nationwide, president-elect Joseph Biden has announced that all US tax returns must be completed using Arabic numerals. What a complete slap in the face to our veterans!

It’s never a bad time to mention veterans in a story about a completely unrelated topic — after all, it makes the average uninformed potatriot all tingly in his or her ‘Murican parts to get worked up about something that allegedly insults US servicemembers.

So it’s certain to work potatriots into high dudgeon to read that the winner of the 2020 Presidential election has required all tax returns to be filed using Arabic numerals, effective immediately. Get ready to complete your 2020 tax return using Arabic numerals, people!

Biden announced: “I can’t believe we’re even having this discussion. Of course, tax returns must be filed using Arabic numerals. What else would be we use? Come on, man.”

It seemed like a throwaway line as Biden spoke to reporters in Dearborn, Michigan. But OAN and Newsmax caught wind of it and have pushed it to the forefront of the national consciousness. It happened in Dearborn!

Where there are a bunch of mosques! Where Obama sent millions of illegal Somali refugees! To vote for him! Or something like that!

The chickens are now coming home to roost, and red-blooded Americans who are too clueless to realize that they’ve been using Arabic numerals every day of their sheltered little lives are furious about Biden’s announcement.

Sandy Batt, Biden’s spokeswoman, said, “Are they STILL triggered by the numerals 0, 1, 2, 3, etc? I always knew they were dumb, but sheesh, this topic is the gift that keeps on giving.”

Biden promised to change our country, and this is just one glaring example of something that won’t change our country at all. Simmer down, patriots. Simmer down.