“They’re like two peas in a pod,” says Washington biographer Sandy Batt of First Lady Dr.Jill Biden and former First lady and Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton. “They’re almost inseparable.”
Batt’s insider look and observations come from her upcoming biography: “Joe and Jill – America’s Saviors”, due to be released in June of 2021. The bestselling author’s previous publications : “Teabaggers Suddenly Hate Bush”, “Lindsey Graham – Life’s a Drag!”, and “Gore – A Pamphlet” have all sold millions of copies each, and projections say the Biden’s story may be the biggest hit yet.
“I really think the friendship between Jill and Hill is the real heart of the book. The two go shopping together, attend concerts and seminars, and engage in hijinks you might expect from women half their age.”
“I just HOPE the pair of you properly RECYCLED your liquor bottles!”
When pressed for some examples, Batt happily obliged a couple of highlights.
“There was a time when the Bidens were having radio hosts Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity over for dinner with their husbands to discuss media-related technologies. The ladies both conspired in the kitchen to fart in the pundits’ drinks and rub rusty S.O.S. pads around in their food. Oh, did they have a laugh, and it’s funnier now considering poor Rush is on his way to his last buffet.”
The Grim Reaper has already reportedly put a deposit down on some moving equipment.
“Once when Trump was having one of his Cult rallies in town, the pair of them went disguised as fat old hillbillies, complete with barf-stained shirts and MAGA hats. Hillary managed to get backstage and switch Donald’s adderall with high-dosage estrogen pills. Remember when Trump was ‘rushed to a basement?’ Yeah, that’s because he had tits for a couple of days. Jill still has pics of it all she’s making into next year’s Christmas cards. You’ll love them!”
The press junket tantalizing seems to be working, since Amazon has reported pre-orders for the tome skyrocketing. I’m sure it will turn out to be a delightful collection of friendship tales for any coffee table.
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.
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