Flagg Eagleton – Patriot – Page 47 – Dunning-Kruger-Times.com

About Flagg Eagleton - Patriot

Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.

Struggling Disney Giving Away Free Tickets So Parks Look “Less Empty”

Struggling Disney Giving Away Free Tickets So Parks Look “Less Empty”

By Flagg Eagleton - Patriot Disney with Clarified Butter

If you want to have your kids groomed you can get in for free.

Candace Owens Slams Megan Rapinoe: “You’re An Angry Toddler”

Candace Owens Slams Megan Rapinoe: “You’re An Angry Toddler”

By Flagg Eagleton - Patriot Punishing Megan Rapinoe

Owens was surprised Rapinoe actually Zoomed in.

Shaqille O’Neil Sets the Record Straight: “I’m No Democrat”

Shaqille O’Neil Sets the Record Straight: “I’m No Democrat”

By Flagg Eagleton - Patriot Shaqtire

The superstar wants everyone to know where he stands.

Ted Nugent And Kid Rock Are Teaming Up For A New “No Frills – No Lies” Variety Show

Ted Nugent And Kid Rock Are Teaming Up For A New “No Frills – No Lies” Variety Show

By Flagg Eagleton - Patriot Untrustworthy Gossip with Beet Juice

The duo will use satire, skits, and music to bring patriotic, God-fearing Americans a quality hour of television.

Thousands of Patriots Swarm Disney for the “Largest Protest in Florida’s History”

Thousands of Patriots Swarm Disney for the “Largest Protest in Florida’s History”

By Flagg Eagleton - Patriot Artificial American Patriots13 Comments

Disney's management was completely unprepared.

ABC Moves “The View” to Dreaded 7 AM Spot: “Let Them Compete With Morning Joe”

ABC Moves “The View” to Dreaded 7 AM Spot: “Let Them Compete With Morning Joe”

By Flagg Eagleton - Patriot Silly Tater Satire

After the news, while everyone drives, before retirees start their day. It's the kiss of death.

Out of Options: Nobody Will Hire “Easily Triggered” Megan Rapinoe

Out of Options: Nobody Will Hire “Easily Triggered” Megan Rapinoe

By Flagg Eagleton - Patriot Punishing Megan Rapinoe8 Comments

The disgraced star has nowhere to turn for a post-soccer career.

FAKE: No, Kid Rock Wasn’t Drinking a Bud Light In “Clearly Manipulated” Viral Image

FAKE: No, Kid Rock Wasn’t Drinking a Bud Light In “Clearly Manipulated” Viral Image

By Flagg Eagleton - Patriot Kid Rock Flavored Meth

The mainstream media took this one and ran with it.

Oliver Anthony Turns Down $8 Million Target Endorsement: “I Won’t Sell My Soul”

Oliver Anthony Turns Down $8 Million Target Endorsement: “I Won’t Sell My Soul”

By Flagg Eagleton - Patriot Rewarding Oliver Anthony7 Comments

Target thought they could buy back some customers.

Garth Brooks Breaks Down Onstage in Oklahoma: “They Wouldn’t Stop Booing”

Garth Brooks Breaks Down Onstage in Oklahoma: “They Wouldn’t Stop Booing”

By Flagg Eagleton - Patriot Punishing Garth Brooks

Garth has had a tough few months.