The Paramount network’s hit streamer Yellowstone has taken the country by storm.  The Emmy-winning Kevin Costner vehicle is a smash, and no matter how you watch it – whether you stream it from free app Pluto, or from any internet movie site, or actually pay for it from Paramount like a sucker, it’s sure to leave you gasping, week to week.

Or it was, that is.  Thanks to a large group of liberals calling themselves “Ranches Aren’t Murder Farms”, or “RAMF”, Paramount has opted not to renew the show’s contracts for another season.

Yellowstone tells the tale of a gigantic Ranch in Montana, led by boss Kevin Costner as John Dutton.  He has sons and a daughter and a grandson and all the usual shit.  Stuff happens and people get killed all over the place.

“It’s hilarious. They stole a couple from me, though.”

The “all over the place” part is what the tree-huggers are objecting to.  They say that that many murders all connected somehow to the Dutton family is unrealistic.

“How do people continuously lose their lives, all in the same general area, every week, and nothing happens?” says RAMF co-founder Joe Barron, who watches on a jailbroken Amazon Firestick.  “It’s a goddamn cattle ranch.  Not Squid Game.”

Showrunner Joe Konders has a different opinion.

“Does that sound interesting?  No.  Basically, the show is a remake of ‘Dallas’, minus the oil stuff.  So people die.  Who cares?  You don’t like It?  Go watch Touched by a F*cking Angel.”

Paramount executives say the show will end this season without a proper sendoff and drive all the fans bonkers.


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