The WNBA had no choice but to suspend Mavericks Superstar Brittney Griner for substance abuse after her toxicology screen came back positive for CBD and Bloogies. She’s been home for less than three days, so the rumors that she was arrested and let go by local cops in San Antonio must be true.
Griner will have to wait at least two years to play again, and the board that suspended her says they’ll be reporting her abuse to the Olympic Committee. Griner is still planning on going back to play in Russia in 2023. “I probably won’t bring drugs this time,” she said.
Meanwhile, Paul Whelan, the American hero who only tried to steal $10K and was NOT dishonorably discharged, remains locked up in the former Soviet Union’s harshest penal colony in Artuboolst, Siberia. The Biden administration says they’re not interested in going to get him because he’s just a “plain white dude.”
Griner may find herself working for The View, the last stop for hasbeens in the lowest-rated spot on television, if she doesn’t take a job as a sports broadcaster for NESN. Rumor has it she has a vintage Whalers Jersey she wears to Red Sox games. Ned’s gonna love this shit.
God bless America.
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