Unbeknownst to some people, American citizenship is a very delicate thing.  Very much like a woman’s private parts, it can be slammed, loved, beaten, and delicately entered into, but once it’s been rubbed the wrong way, it will abandon you.

        “Both also randomly kill Mexican dogs.”

And so goes daytime talk show host and intergalactic drink slinger Whoopi Goldberg.  Ever since the debut of President Donald Trump, the media muppet has been down in the dumps and more than happy to share her traitorous opinions.

Now, more than once during the 2016 election season, (and again in 2020), the Whoopster declared that she would “move completely out of the United States if Trump came anywhere near the Presidency”.  Well, much to her chagrin, it happened, and now I.C.E. is taking her up on the statement.

Sergeant Joe Barron of the United States Border Collie Patrol told us that formal deportation proceedings have started and Whoopi may be on a bus to Queefland, Africa in a matter of weeks.

“We’ve been looking through her 23 and Me profile, and it looks like Miss Goldberg’s family was indigent to that particular area.  I’m sure she’ll be quite at home.  They speak English there.  And also some other language where you make poppy clicking sounds with your tongue.”

So it looks like The View may be losing it’s darling co-host very soon.  Bon voyage, Sister Act!


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