Volkswagon Abandons Alyssa Milano: “She Doesn’t Represent Us”

Alyssa Milano’s publicity stunt has backfired big time. The actress made a big deal out of trading in her Tesla for a Volkswagen, then went on a crusade to cancel Tesla completely. “Everyone should buy a Volkswagen,” said Milano.

The company, however, wants nothing to do with her, her politics, or her boycotts. “Tesla is a fine company,” said Artenshpiel Tubolshnithz of Volkswagen’s parent company BMW, “we certainly don’t want to get into some Twitter war over it. That won’t end well.”

Musk’s takeover of Twitter certainly seems to have turned a bunch of things upside down. A week ago, Alyssa Milano was just the stunningly hot crush of 38 years I can’t stop thinking about, and now she’s a monster who, if you believe the internet, abandoned logic and joined the German Nazi Party os 1938. It’s all very sad.

Volkswagen’s desire to stay out of the conflict didn’t go unnoticed. Musk sent a basket of scones to the CEO to thank him for being so kind, then filed a multi-billion dollar lawsuit because they will probably make a bunch of money from this whole thing, and Elon gets his cut no matter what.

It’s a shame he wasn’t born here. He’d make a great president.