The 16 members of the US National Women’s Team say they’ll all quit if Lia Thomas, the transgender swimmer who won the NCAA Championship and set 11 world records, gets so much as a tryout.

“None of these women want to spend their locker room time looking at male genitals just for an advantage,” said Coach Joe Barron, “they’d rather win honestly than to have a ringer on the team.”

A ringer is described as someone far overqualified to compete in an event, typically involving sports. “They feel like the world will look down on them if they allow a biological male on their team.”

According to Thomas, there is no advantage and the reports of her dominance are “extremely exaggerated.” Yet there are all those records and medals.

A spokesman for the US Olympic committee responded to our request for comment, noting that they had no idea why the women’s volleyball team, the squad in the article’s feature image, would care if Lia Thomas got a tryout.

“I doubt she’d make it. She’s a swimmer. They don’t play a lot of volleyball.”

This reporter confirmed that in all the years of volleyball and swimming, never has someone trained in the 50-yeard dash won a medal. God Bless America.

4,475 Comments

  1. SHARON KING

    Most with two braincells know that just by thinking and announcing you are female doesn’t make it so. This is a male, not a she. I’ll never agree on calling him a she. I don’t care if it hurts your feelings.

    • Hey, you, if the satire was dangling its balls in front of your face you would probably still ignore it.

  2. I’m with all that team this is the way it should be and all other teams should do the same otherwise it won’t go any where it will never get settled once and for all !!! Start a time for transgenders only !!!

    • Mabel Johnson's sugar mama!

      Hey diane, this is S-A-T-I-R-E! LOL

  3. Linda Dolan

    If she/ he is still packing male genitalia then that person isn’t even a transgender. Not in my book . No he should not be allowed as he still has male muscle and bone structure.

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  4. Donca

    Will trannies even be allowed to compete in the Olympics????? Hope not

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