Mar-a-Lago, FL – In what he calls “the greatest poll numbers, maybe ever,” former President Donald Trump is now touting the highest approval rating of any Republican president since Ronald Reagan—while simultaneously holding an approval rating lower than every other U.S. president in history.
Speaking to a crowd of loyal supporters at a fundraiser held in a gold-plated ballroom, Trump declared, “Folks, the numbers are in, and let me tell you, they’re beautiful. Absolutely stunning. I have the highest approval rating of any Republican since Reagan, and the fake news media won’t even report it. But that’s okay, because we know the truth.”
What Trump failed to mention is that, while his 37% approval rating among Americans is indeed the highest for a Republican ex-president since Reagan, it is also lower than the approval ratings of Jimmy Carter, George W. Bush, Barack Obama, and even Richard Nixon during the height of Watergate.
Fox News host Sean Hannity celebrated the achievement, saying, “This is a historic moment. Trump’s approval rating towers over all Republican presidents in the last 40 years. The fact that it’s still lower than every Democrat and some convicted felons is just a liberal distraction.”
Meanwhile, analysts pointed out that even Franklin Pierce, a man most Americans have never heard of, somehow still polls better than Trump.
When asked for comment, President Biden chuckled and said, “Well, folks, uh, you know, I guess, uh… numbers are numbers.”
Regardless of the data, Trump has already added the statistic to his 2024 campaign banners, with a new slogan: “Trump 2024: The Highest-Lowest Approval Rating Ever!”
