In a sweeping directive aimed at restoring what he calls “traditional American values,” former President Donald J. Trump has announced that all Pride flags must be removed from classrooms across the country. The move, which he claims is necessary to stop “woke indoctrination,” has already sparked heated debate among educators, students, and parents.
“We will not allow radical leftist ideology to infect our schools,” Trump said in a statement posted on Truth Social. “The only flag that belongs in the classroom is the American flag. And maybe, if they’re lucky, a Trump 2024 flag.”
According to sources within Trump’s inner circle, the plan includes strict penalties for schools that refuse to comply, with potential consequences ranging from funding cuts to forced public apologies on Newsmax. The directive has been praised by conservative lawmakers but has left many teachers and administrators scrambling for clarity on how such a policy would even be enforced.
And Then Reality Kicked In
There’s just one small problem: Trump doesn’t actually have the authority to do this.
As a private citizen with no current role in the federal government, Trump’s declaration carries about as much legal weight as a monopoly money check written in crayon. Public schools are overseen by state and local governments, and there is no federal law that gives him—or anyone else outside of an actual elected office—the power to ban a specific type of flag from classrooms.
Despite this glaring flaw, the announcement has still sent some school districts into mild chaos, with teachers unsure whether to ignore the demand, laugh at it, or start replacing their Pride flags with photos of Trump to avoid controversy.
The Principled Response
One person who isn’t worried? Joe Barron, the outspoken principal of Liberty High School in California, who has made his stance very, very clear.
“Trump is a babbling buffoon with the brainpower of a soggy breadstick,” Barron said when asked for comment. “He can order whatever he wants from his gold-plated clown tower in Florida, but last I checked, he’s not the president, he’s just a guy who spends his days yelling at the TV.”
Barron went on to explain that his school will absolutely not be removing any Pride flags—in fact, he’s considering adding more just out of spite.
“I’ve already ordered a six-foot rainbow banner that says ‘Joe Barron Welcomes All Students Except Wannabe Dictators.’ It should be here by Tuesday,” he added.
What’s Next?
Since Trump’s decree has no legal standing, most schools are expected to ignore it entirely, except for those in districts where officials still think he’s secretly running the government from a bunker. Meanwhile, Trump supporters have already begun celebrating the imaginary victory, with some calling for a “ban” on other things Trump dislikes, such as windmills, electric cars, and basic facts.
For now, Pride flags will stay exactly where they are—unless, of course, someone actually in charge says otherwise.
