Our dear leader President Donald J. Trump has plenty of reasons to be furious with Georgia Governor Brian Kemp. And so, Trump has forced him to resign.
The number one reason is that the voters in Kemp’s state gave a majority of their support to Joe Biden. Yes, patriots, it’s Kemp’s fault that the smart people outnumbered the knuckle-dragging morons and delivered Georgia’s electoral votes to Biden, contributing to Biden’s win and sending Trump packing.
It’s also Kemp’s fault that he wasn’t able to change the vote totals on the first recount, or the second, or the third, or even the fourth. I mean, come on! The point of recounts is to COUNT THE VOTES DIFFERENTLY. DUH.
So, Trump had his elite strike force team of crack(pot) attorneys examine the Constitutions (both the US Constitution and the Georgia Constitution), the Federal Records, and the National Archives in search of a way to fire Kemp.
He found it in the Georgia Constitution. Section 8, Article 12, Paragraph 69.666 says: “If the President in 2020 is a butthurt, whiny little bitch and he loses his reelection race because of the state of Georgia, that President shall be able to demand the resignation of the Governor of Georgia. Neener neener.”
Noted historian Sandy Batt laughed heartily when presented with this nugget of Constitutional nonsense. “Did they REALLY think that having Giuliani write that on the back of an Olive Garden takeout menu with a Sharpie was going to convince anyone that Trump could REALLY demand the resignation of Governor Kemp? Oh, of course they did.”
Kemp is a Republican, so by his very nature, he’s not as smart as the Democrats in his state. But he’s playing along, submitting a letter of resignation to Trump (because the president is in charge of governors, don’t you know) but including an asterisk at the end of the sentence that includes his “resignation.”
The asterisk refers the reader to his lily-white ass, where he left a Sharpie-inscribed note for Trump: “Kiss this.”
