Blake Shelton and Toby Keith were great friends, so it was no surprise when he announced that he’ll be headlining a tribute to his recently deceased friend next week. As one might predict, one of the first to reach out to “help” Shelton was Taylor Swift.

“I told her to get lost,” Sheldon told ALLOD Correspondelant Joe Barron, “This ain’t about you, Taylor. No way was I gonna let her come here and take the spotlight off of me headlining this thing. It’ll be the Tay Tay show.”

Swift wouldn’t answer our questions directly but she did want to point out that only Gen Xers call her Tay Tay because of that one time The Rock did it on Lip Sync Battle.

As for Shelton, he says he doesn’t care what she wants people to call her, as long as she keeps her nose out of things when she just doesn’t belong.

“I won that headlining spot fair and square,” Shelton told ALLOD Entertainment Specializalist Tara Newhole, “I had to beat George Strait and Lee Greenwood in a wrestling match and Hank Williams Jr at nude checkers. I’m not letting Miss Priss prance on in with those legs up to her neck to spoil my big day.”

Newhole confirmed that Taylor does have pretty long legs. “She’s also great in heels, which isn’t easy when you’re nine feet tall.”

At any rate, tall or not, Swift will have nothing to do with the fictitious Blake Shelton tribute show to Toby Keith that we so look forward to booting Garth Brooks from. God Bless America.

5 Comments

  1. Russ

    Sounds to me like Blake Shelton has a real full blown jealousy problem????? I don’t know much about Taylor Swift but I’ve probably heard some of her music not knowing who she was. My wife would say that’s Taylor Swift and I would say, who’s that?? I don’t understand everyones hatred of her?? Sounds like a lot of jealousy of her success??

  2. Too many ??????????????????

    Q,/ What do you call a bloke failing to hide properly under a pile of leaves ???????????????????????????????????????????????
    A./ Russell

    H8rs gotta H8 too many question marks Russ …

    P.S I recently heard about some pics of Tay Tay on the ‘net where she was a real full blowin … alas the cyber Nazis got rid of them under pressure from the Swifties !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  3. I appreciate your fortunate post. It was very funny, and it seems like you’ve reached a much nicer level now. How are we going to talk to one other now?

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  5. LOCK HIM UP

    Fucking Ruskies – they’re all over this joint like herpes on Trumpie’s tiny pecker after banging a THOUSAND Hookers …

    Sklep his tiny hands and internetoway fucktard

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